#11 In which I get very wet, without a surf board

A bump to the head, then Christmas, followed by a week in one place with no surf within reach. Still flat as a pancake. I've done lots of exploring and had other adventures, but no surf. Before moving on I checked the forecast for further up North, where I was headed. Still 0-1 foot, with very low energy - pancake flat yet again.

So I searched "attractions" in Google Maps. Something appeared which reminded me of part of a recent conversation with some old friends in a pub in Haslemere. At the time I'd replied to the question "have you ever tried kite-surfing?" with "I don't think I'd have the upper body strength and it looks a bit dangerous." Time to re-think. I contacted Zoe via the Airzone Kite-Surf School web-site, and booked for the one day taster, not really sure if I was up to the two day course, and a little apprehensive about how I was going to cope with the one day. I checked my travel insurance, filled in my details and signed the "you realise you could die" form, giving my sister's contact details in case of emergency (she didn't need to know). I wondered what the instructor would think about my 5'1" and 50kg alongside my age. "Have you done any snow boarding, skate boarding or skiing?" nope, "Windsurfing?" nope. Just nearly a couple of years trying to learn to surf, mainly in Wales. Turns out my age wasn't an issue - Berny my instructor has 13 years on me.

After being shown the ropes (well, the strings, the handle-bar, the pump and the kite), I donned the (as usual) slightly too large wet-suit, and a harness which was more like a corset, or a boxer's belt, and unlike anything I've put on for climbing, or even for work, then came the life vest. The safety helmet sat neatly over my glued head (healing nicely). The yellow kite and I then headed into the water with Berny. With a 4m wingspan, and short (learner) lines she was different to any kite I'd flown before. Steering was counter-intuitive, and we took some time to get to know each other. I'm sorry to say that I gave her a bit of a hard time. Pulling down on one side too quickly slapped her into the waves with some force, and I did this a number of times. At one point she had to be resuscitated with the pump. She did hold her own, and slapped me into the waves when I pulled with both hands and drew the bar towards me in an attempt to control her. (Doing exactly the wrong thing!) Just like when I surf my natural reaction to face-planting the sea is joyful laughter (and occasional swearing). I did laugh a lot, and so did Berny, but at the end of the two hours or so in the sea he gave me the compliment of being "about average at this point". I do feel I've probably had greater compliments, but I was pleased, I felt I'd got a feel for kite surfing - enough to want to return the next day and try it with a board. (Intentional directional dragging is as far as day 1 often goes "kite control is 80% of the skill in kite-surfing".)

I had a very good night's sleep, and returned the next afternoon. We started by getting to know the new kite on its own. Full length lines and a 6m span, "Red" was heftier than yellow had been. "Powerful enough to lift both of us" according to Berny. In some ways he was easier to handle, but his response times were much longer, and I could definitely feel the difference in the power. Face planting was equally funny, if a little less gentle. I could certainly see the value of the helmet. With much hilarity we got to the stage where Berny decided I was comfortable enough with Red, and ready to try with the board; aiming to get up on the board and be pulled along. I didn't question the use of the word comfortable, but it wasn't one I would have chosen.

Fortunately Berny has a strong sense of humour; The next hour or so got progressively more and more hysterical (both of us). To start with my legs were moving in exactly the opposite direction to the way they were supposed to. This was news to me - I was concentrating on the kite, and had no idea my legs were doing anything. They straightened when they were supposed to remain bent, and my weight automatically transferred to the front foot instead of the back. I could hear the cogs in Berny's brain churning as he tried a different way to explain to me what I was doing and what I needed to do. At one point he did tell me he was impressed - with how difficult I was making it look!

So much laughter, so much water, so many sea splats!

I responded to "We'll keep going until you get up" with "what time's sunset?" I was getting very good at getting my feet onto the board, they just weren't staying on for long. Now a thing about kite surfing is that if you pull on the bar it powers up the kite so it goes harder / faster / higher. I know this because I did manage to launch a number of times, but hardly in a controlled way.

Berny's "We'll just give it a couple more goes" was followed by; kite right (as intended), kite left (as intended), Sally up (slightly higher and faster than intended), Sally splat (not intended, but anticipated), all accompanied by laughter. I was very definitely glad of the helmet and life vest.

One last try - I definitely made some air - about 2m between me and the sea, and then nearly overtook the kite. Really really glad of the helmet and life vest. After Berny had checked I was OK, and we'd both got our laughter under control we headed to shore to pack away. Laughing I told Berny I'd like to sign up for the 12 week instructor course, obviously his response was to say they could probably fast-track me in 8 weeks. Zoe came over and asked how it had gone, Berny asked if they "still have that Valium" - for him, not me. I was very glad I'd had a go, but at this point I'm going to stick to simple surfing. Tomorrow would be a day for sitting on the beach and discovering new bruises. (Although I also discovered that my insurance covered me for kite-surfing "over land, but not over water" - oops!) I just hope that all this hasn't ruined my footwork when I eventually do get back on a surf-board.

If you want to give kite-surfing a try (or become an instructor!) I strongly recommend Airzone kite-surf school, and you don't have to get out to New Zealand - they also run courses in the UK on the south coast. Exasperated, perplexed, surprised, amused, Berny managed to remain patient and good tempered as I treated his kites really badly; an excellent teacher.

No photos for this experience (to see what it looks like click on their web-site)